Kvetching

So, I've been dealing with knee issues for about 3 years now. For the most part the issue has been that my knee cap lay slightly to the outside of my knee and I had inflammation that would come and go in my knee. I think these issues all stems back to an injury I sustained when I worked on the Intensive Unit at an Emotionally Disturbed Children’s Home and had an extended take-down :(. And since this all started recurring 3 years ago my family practitioner, my orthopedic and my spinal specialist have all been telling me that if I would just lose weight and strengthen my quad to pull my knee cap back into proper alignment all of knee issues would go away. HA!

Well last June when I stepped on the scale on my 40th birthday and realized I was at my heaviest ever I knew it was time to do something. So I started being more aware of what I was eating and I managed to lose approximately 15 pounds over the summer. Then toward the end of July a knitting buddy wanted to join Weight Watchers and asked me if I wanted to do it with her. I knew that support would be my greatest ally on this journey, so I agreed and we joined and we go every Monday night. I feel this starts my week off on a good note and keeps my in-line over the weekend because I know I have to weight in Monday!

Then school started back up and a co-worker talked me into joining the same gym she goes to and that she would work out with me. Now, I HATE, absolutely HATE working out. But again, I knew and workout partner would get my fat ass to the gym and she would be yet another great support on this extensive journey of mine. I joined the gym and since August we've been working out together. I now go the gym anywhere from 4-6 days a week. We do cardio on the elliptical and lift weights on the nautilus machines. (But let me tell you, if medical reports came out tomorrow that said “You get absolutely NO benefit from working out I’d stop in a heartbeat!) We would walk/run on the elliptical for 30 minutes and when we first started she was running almost 3 miles in 30 minutes and I was lucky to just make 1.5 miles on level 1! Now, I've managed to work up my endurance to 5 miles within 45-55 minutes on level 8!

Back in October, my knee was really starting to feel fabulous. I’m talking, I could run up and down stairs with no pain what-so-ever. I was even able to wear heels again! (Yes, I have a shoe fetish and have been holding on to all my pretty heels because I was determined to one day be able to wear them again!)

Then in November my workout partner wanted to change up our routine a little and we started taking some of the classes that were offered at the gym. We decided to take a Zumba class. I was really looking forward to it. I had danced for 15 years growing up and still love too, so I thought this would be something that would make me actually enjoy working out. We took the class and I had tons of fun and felt fabulous when the class was over. The next morning however, my knee was not :(. It swelled up like an overstuffed sausage and I was back to wearing my brace. High was quickly deflated. My knee has been temperamental ever since that morning. The swelling would come and go, but it never felt as good as it did just before I took that Zumba class. I tried Zumba 2 more times while wearing my brace and not bouncing as much, but I haven’t been back to a Zumba class since Thanksgiving :(

So, I started wearing my brace whenever I went to work out. Then two weeks ago I was home and changing to head to the gym. I put my brace on and headed upstairs to grab a towel. Each step I took and straightened my left knee it popped. Not a painful pop, but not something my knee normally does. I thought that maybe I had put the brace on wrong or too tight, so I took it off, threw it in my gym bag and headed to the gym. I put the brace back on in the locker room and tested it out. Nope, knee still not feeling right, so I took the gel piece out that suppose to aid in pushing the knee cap in the proper position and just wrapped my knee. That seemed to work and I was able to run my 5 miles with no problem, or so I thought!

That night I was at a friend’s house because we are taking this online class together and twice that night my knee locked up on my while I was sitting on the couch and when I forced it to straighten it popped and hurt. When I got home, I iced it took 2 Aleve and went to bed. The next morning my knee had swollen up again and I called the orthopedic. Due to my knee locking up, he ordered another MRI to check my meniscus and to compare it to the MRI I had done back in 2008 to see if I had torn it more.

Sure enough that’s exactly what I did. The doc thinks this happened from Zumba, but that was a little over 2 months ago. On the same note, I can’t think of anything else that I did that could have torn my meniscus.

Now I need to have knee surgery to repair the meniscus and I’m hoping that while they’re in there, they can fix those other pesky issues with my knee as well. I don’t have a surgery date yet, but I’m going to try and schedule it for his first opening as I don’t want to wait too long and run the risk of tearing it worse.

So, despite all the doctors telling me to lose weight and all my knee issues will go away, I’m almost 65 pounds lighter and my knee has never been worse!

As if that wasn’t bad enough – my mother thinks I can fly down to Florida after the surgery to recoup and let her take care of me! Can you picture this – knee bandaged up, crutches, sitting in coach and the damn service cart coming by and hitting my knee?? What is my mother thinking?? *le sigh*

OK, kvetching over with…

14 Months!!

Yeah for me!! It's been 14 months since my last cigarette. *does a little happy dance - careful not to twist her knee*

Now, if I could just get Mr. X to quit too! Speaking of, all is getting better slowly. The few days of a liquid diet seems to have settled his pancreas without having to be admitted to the hospital. *phew*

Oh, my knee. Well, the MRI came back clean. The orthopedic couldn't see any tear in the meniscus on the MRI. Apparently that doesn't take it out of the running completely. He said there could be a little tear that just isn't showing up, but he doesn't was to go head on into arthroscopic surgery just yet. He'd rather we try a less evasive approach, which I am ALL FOR! So, I am on anti-inflamitory drugs and in physical therapy for the month. If that works, GREAT. If not, he want to try a cortisone shot and then if that doesn't work he'll go in with a camera and take a look-see. Personally, I want to be done at the PT level :)

Knitting updates will be posted tonight :)

What a Week!

What a week this has been! Between the the weight of the decision to take a trip to the Windy City, the pressure to knit a baby blanket in a week, high school assessment (HSA) testing all week at work, and two doctors visits in a week... I am so glad it's the weekend! I need a drink!

The media center was closed each morning this past week for HSA testing. The ESOL students and students who had extended time as accomodations were taking the test in the media center. We hung a sign, big as day, in the door window that announced the media center being closed for testing. Can I tell you what I discovered this week about my high school students? THEY CAN'T READ SIGNS! The sign was 24" X 36" and it covered the WHOLE window in the door. The doors were also locked so that people couldn't wander into the center. (Test confidentiality is such a huge deal). Kids were still raddling and banging on the door to get in - completely ignoring the sign on the door! Unbelieveable!

The blanket is finished! The pattern was quick and easily memorized, but when you are under a deadline it kind of takes the enjoyment out of it. Here it is


Pattern: Zig Zag Eyelet Throw (Ravelry)
Yarn: Berella So Soft (2.5 skeins)
Needles: Knit Picks Options, size 9
Modifications: The pattern calls for double stranding the yarn. Since I wanted a baby blanket and not a full size one, I simply did a single strand of yarn and it worked out perfectly.

I went for the MRI on Friday. Now that was a crazy day for me! I went into work in the morning. Put in 2 hours of work and then headed back home for the MRI appointment and then I had to head cross county to get tot a work meeting for the afternoon! I will get the results of the MRI when I see the Orthopedic on Wednesday.

My knee seems to be so-so. It has it's good and bad days depending on I don't know what! Getting up from a sitting position has gotten a bit tricky. I kind of have to prepare myself to try and avoid the "stuck" feeling when straightening my leg and that helps to avoid the sharp, shooting pain that accompanies that if I try to move to fast. It would appear, from all the researching that I've been able to do so far, that I most likely have a torn meniscus. What I did or how I did it, I haven't a clue, but the more I read up on it the more I think that's what is wrong with my knee. And since I have the stiffening and the popping, it looks like I didn't do a half-ass job in tearing it. *sigh* You know, there are some things in my life that I really, really wouldn't mind doing half-assed, and injuring myself would be right up there. But no, when I do something, I have to do it all the way. Depending on where exactly that tear has happened will probably be the determining factor between PT and surgery. Not particularly thrilled with that concept. From what I could find, if the tear is on the outer edge of the meniscus (where there is more of a blood flow) then with proper treatment, the tear can heal itself, but if the tear is more in the center of the meniscus, then I am pretty much shit-outta-luck. There is little to no blood flow in that area and the meniscus cannot heal itself. I am so praying the tear is on the outter edge.

Either way, it looks like my excercising at Curves will not be returning anytime soon. I will also need to start looking aroung my area for water aerobic excersise. That's about as low-impact as you can get, I think. Once I've dropped the weight I've gained back from the surgery imobility and strengthened my knee a little more then I can think about getting back in to a gym for weights.

I spent most of today cleaning the upstairs floor of my house. You know, one of those really "good" type of cleanings. I had all the windows open upstairs to air the place out. I was a gorgeous day and now one that should have been spent indoors, but I haven't been able to really clean my house the last few months and it really needed it. It was one of those cleanings where you actually move things around to dust and wipe down all the things that stay out on the furnture. It was one of those cleanings where you moved the stationary furtinure around a bit so that you can vacuum up all the dust bunnies, or in my case Frisco hair, that you normally don't get to in the weekly vacuuming routine. Heck I even cleaned all the dust on the ceiling fans! My tummy area is now telling what a stupid idea it was to move all that furniture around myself. I think I'm going to have to give the GYN a call on Monday. She cleared me on all accounts and said I could return to exercising and to just ease into it - or course with the knee situation I haven't had the chance to make it back to Curves yet. But there are days when that area just just feel up to par. There are some days I get these little pangs on the inside. The best way I can describe them - if I were pregnant I would swear the little guy was pinching me on the inside. Just quick little zingers that don't linger long. Pressure still bothers it too. Frisco can't lay on my stomach for very long before it starts to bother me. I have no idea if this normal, if the inside portion takes longer to heal then the outside. All my gf that have had abdominal surgery have all had hysterectomies not myomectomies. Well, no sense in frettin' till I talk to the doc :)

I've hemmed and hawed and tossed the decisions around in my mind all week about what to do about Mr. X's invitation to visit. When he didn't ask for my decision right away, I made the conscious effort not to bring it up again myself. Over this past year and half that we've been talking again, I've come to realize that he tends to say things or offer things that are what I call "spur of the moment" thoughts. When I let him back in my life last summer I became aware of this. I think he said things because he was lonely and depressed about the choices he had made and the turn his life had taken. If he brought something back up a 2nd time then I knew it was something he was really thinking about. If he never brought it up again then I chalked it up to a spur-of-the-moment thought and left it alone. In some ways this helped keep me in check to not expect anything or to hope for something just to be disappointed. So, when he asked me again on Thursday if I had given his offer any thought or made a decision, I knew I really did need to make the decision. I told him I would see what I could do about some time from work on Friday and then let him know. So, I now have a plane ticket to the Windy City for Halloween weekend.

Hope for the Best, but Prepare for the Worst

The advice of a friend as I was leaving work today to head to a doctors appointment for my knee.

My left knee started to bother me a few weeks before my surgery. I think it started sometime in June. I get inflammation under the kneecaps ever now and again, it started back in college. So I really didn't think much of it. Then it got a tad worse like the week right before my surgery, but I just couldn't do anything about it at that point. I was too worried about the surgery. Then for about a month after the surgery - nothing. No pain, no problems.

Then is started back up again slowly. A little annoying pain that came and went. Then is was mildly painful to sit with that knee bend (as in sitting cross legged on the couch or bed). The annoyance grew to where the knee kind of stuck and you know it will feel better if you pop it, but you don't force a pop because you're afraid it's going to hurt. When the knee became stiff from sitting down I knew I needed to call a doctor. I by-passed my regular doc and asked around for an orthopedic and made an appointment *which was today* and wouldn't you know it, as it got closer to the appointment the knee got slightly worse. Now, every time I stand up from sitting, if I'm not careful, I get a sharp shooting pain in my knee. As in, "OW, F*ck that hurts" kind of pain.

So, X-rays were taken. The good news is that nothing is broken. I was pretty sure about that one walking in there, but I guess they have to rule out the obvious. Why was I so sure that nothing was broken you ask. Simple - I haven't taken any stumbles what-so-evah in the last 6 months. Unless I've been sleepwalking, but then again I would think a nasty stumble would have woken me up, no?

Of course, the next thing out of his mouth just pissed me off to no end. I had pretty much just finished telling the doc that I've had knee problems on and off since college, but that this was definitely something different. He proceeds to tell me that losing some weight would probably help my knees. Well DUH! Can someone please fuckin' explain to me why doctors automatically think that all health issues with someone who is overweight are ALL a direct result of that additional weight?? I almost got the impression that he didn't want to take any more time analyzing my problem after that statement. *Deep breath and count backwards from 10* After which I somehow calming said to the man, "I know I have weight issues and within the last year I had lost almost 50 pounds, but that the surgery has set me back about 10-15 pounds because of immobility, but my weight is not what is causing whatever problem I have now. This is a very different feeling and pain in my knee." *pat myself on the back for that calm response when all I really wanted to do was jump off the medical table and strange him while shouting "do you really think I don't know that I'm overweight?"* He then suggested an MRI to see what was going on in that area. When I mentioned the sharp, shooting pain I get in the knee when I stand up he said there might be a tear in the meniscus, but he won't know till we get the MRI results.

So, I am now scheduled for an MRI on Friday and a follow up visit for next Wednesday. In the meantime I pray that the pain doesn't get any worse in the next week.

So in hoping for the best - all this pain is my imagination and will *poof* go away and preparing for the worst - I guess would be knee surgery.............. sooooooooooooooo not what I want to prepare for!

In other news... still no decision about the trip. Though I did look at airfares and of course heading up the Windy City is cheaper then heading down to the sandy shores - go figure! *sigh*