Hope for the Best, but Prepare for the Worst

The advice of a friend as I was leaving work today to head to a doctors appointment for my knee.

My left knee started to bother me a few weeks before my surgery. I think it started sometime in June. I get inflammation under the kneecaps ever now and again, it started back in college. So I really didn't think much of it. Then it got a tad worse like the week right before my surgery, but I just couldn't do anything about it at that point. I was too worried about the surgery. Then for about a month after the surgery - nothing. No pain, no problems.

Then is started back up again slowly. A little annoying pain that came and went. Then is was mildly painful to sit with that knee bend (as in sitting cross legged on the couch or bed). The annoyance grew to where the knee kind of stuck and you know it will feel better if you pop it, but you don't force a pop because you're afraid it's going to hurt. When the knee became stiff from sitting down I knew I needed to call a doctor. I by-passed my regular doc and asked around for an orthopedic and made an appointment *which was today* and wouldn't you know it, as it got closer to the appointment the knee got slightly worse. Now, every time I stand up from sitting, if I'm not careful, I get a sharp shooting pain in my knee. As in, "OW, F*ck that hurts" kind of pain.

So, X-rays were taken. The good news is that nothing is broken. I was pretty sure about that one walking in there, but I guess they have to rule out the obvious. Why was I so sure that nothing was broken you ask. Simple - I haven't taken any stumbles what-so-evah in the last 6 months. Unless I've been sleepwalking, but then again I would think a nasty stumble would have woken me up, no?

Of course, the next thing out of his mouth just pissed me off to no end. I had pretty much just finished telling the doc that I've had knee problems on and off since college, but that this was definitely something different. He proceeds to tell me that losing some weight would probably help my knees. Well DUH! Can someone please fuckin' explain to me why doctors automatically think that all health issues with someone who is overweight are ALL a direct result of that additional weight?? I almost got the impression that he didn't want to take any more time analyzing my problem after that statement. *Deep breath and count backwards from 10* After which I somehow calming said to the man, "I know I have weight issues and within the last year I had lost almost 50 pounds, but that the surgery has set me back about 10-15 pounds because of immobility, but my weight is not what is causing whatever problem I have now. This is a very different feeling and pain in my knee." *pat myself on the back for that calm response when all I really wanted to do was jump off the medical table and strange him while shouting "do you really think I don't know that I'm overweight?"* He then suggested an MRI to see what was going on in that area. When I mentioned the sharp, shooting pain I get in the knee when I stand up he said there might be a tear in the meniscus, but he won't know till we get the MRI results.

So, I am now scheduled for an MRI on Friday and a follow up visit for next Wednesday. In the meantime I pray that the pain doesn't get any worse in the next week.

So in hoping for the best - all this pain is my imagination and will *poof* go away and preparing for the worst - I guess would be knee surgery.............. sooooooooooooooo not what I want to prepare for!

In other news... still no decision about the trip. Though I did look at airfares and of course heading up the Windy City is cheaper then heading down to the sandy shores - go figure! *sigh*