Goal Trackers

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Uh-oh, Slap Happiness Setting In...

I've had little to no sleep for two nights now and what little sleep I did get was not very restful. Now my usual slap-happiness is setting in and silliness is on the horizon. Ever get that was, just total silliness setting in because your brain just cannot function with such little rest? *Oh yeah, I'm there and it's only 9AM!*

Sunday night Mr. X took a trip to an Urgent Care facility because he's been having some pains in the abdominal for a couple of days and it seems to have gotten worse instead of better. The pain was now beginning to bother his back (he had back surgery several years ago). He also had a really bad gall bladder infection about two years ago and it had to be removed. I can only guess that the pains seemed similar in nature and location which triggered something in him to look further into it. That and the fact that he is now a daddy and can't afford the luxury of putting off.
So, I guess while baby Maddy was napping, he went online and looked up his symptoms and came to the conclusion that it was his pancreas that was bothering him. He called to let me know that he was going to Urgent Care after he brought Maddy home.

Urgent Care didn't have the equipment to run further tests on him, so they gave him a shot for the pain and sent him to the ER. That's when anxiety starting to set in for me. I know that his father died from pancreatic cancer and that this heightens his risk (among other risk factors he either doesn't know or chooses to ignore - knowing him, it's the ladder) I'm not very good with staying calm when it comes to these types of things. I tried to be calm on the phone with him with all this knowledge flooding my brain at once, but I guess I don't do a very good job of keeping it out of my voice because he seemed to be trying to calm my anxiety by saying something along the lines of - I'm sure it's nothing serious, just an infection that antibiotics will clear up. - Or maybe his repeating that out loud was a way to keep his anxiety down. Didn't think of that till just now, but could be.

Anyhoo, I tossed and turn and woke up every half hour or so till he called me around 1:30 Monday morning to let me know that he was done at the ER and they couldn't say conclusively what was going on with him, but his sugar levels were crazy. He was to see his regular doctor in the morning. Since they couldn't pin-point exactly what was going on with him, his sister brought up the pancreatic cancer and the ER doctor told them that his regular doctor will need to run tests for that. So, yeah, my anxiety went up a few notches after that phone call. I so wish I could have been up there with him.

Then yesterday, since I didn't know what time he was going to the doctor and didn't know if he was sleeping in after all that, I sent him a text to let me know about his appointment and all else. I turned up the volume on my phone and left it on my work desk, but I still didn't hear it when it rang. Of course I heard the beep that let me know I had a voicemail. He called to let me know he was at work and that his appointment was around noon and that he would definitely call me afterwards to let me know what was going on.

When I got home from work it was around 4PM and I still hadn't heard anything. When I worry, I eat. I tossed around the idea of calling or texting him, but he said he would call me when he was done with the doc and I didn't want to call while he was in with the doc. When he didn't call me by 6:30 pm, my anxiety had peaked and I called. When I got his voicemail I was stunned, thinking he must still be with the doctor. I ate anything I could find in my house from the about 4 till he finally called me 8:30 PM. Thank goodness there was no junk food in my house last night!

When he finally called I was relived to hear that he was home, but then threatened to beat the living shit out of him when he told me he left the doctor's around 3:30 PM. He pretty much crashed as soon as he got home. I was just so relieved that he was home that I just couldn't stay mad. I'm soooooooo not good with holding grudges. Turns out he had pancreatitis and has to be on a liquid diet for a day or two days and hopefully that will settle down his pancreas and then he can slowly start to introduce solids back into his diet again.

He was a little punchy last night as well. Probably stress relief. I had worried myself right into a migraine. Wow, did it hit me about half an hour after I got off the phone with him. I guess once the tension left my body the migraine felt that it could take over.

You know your in bad shape when the first thing out a a co-workers mouth when they see you is, "You look like shit." So, two night will little sleep, lots or worrying and now I have a day of the giggles. My poor coworkers.

1 comment:

Kozy Kitty said...

Glad everything is okay. I wish you were still my coworker--I would entirely understand a case of the giggles!